How to Win When You Are Losing

[00:00:00] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Welcome back to the Happy Healthy Hustle. Today’s story is about how life has a funny way of teaching us lessons right when we least expect it. This happened on the very first day of filming my new YouTube show, Office Hours, which launches on October tenth, World Mental Health Day. This episode showcases what happened behind the scenes, and why real life not matching your plan might be the best thing possible.

[00:01:16] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: It was a quiet afternoon, my reset time, when I make my matcha. It is my daily ritual to slow down and recenter. I was halfway through curling my hair, one side perfectly done and the other completely ignored, when a text came in from my student interviewer: see you in a bit. I looked at the clock, and then the doorbell rang. She had arrived thirty minutes early. I laughed, took another sip of matcha, and let her in.

[00:02:49] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: I am not an unmade bed type of person. Making my bed is a ritual, a way to signal the shift from sleep to day. But that afternoon, on top of the made bed sat piles of clean, folded laundry waiting to be put away. I immediately said, sorry, it usually does not look this way. And then I thought, why do these words even come out? My bed is made, the laundry is clean and folded, I am drinking a matcha. Nothing needs an apology.

[00:03:34] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: That unnecessary I am sorry is a perfect example of what behavioral economics calls loss aversion. Loss aversion explains why humans fear losing something more than they enjoy gaining something of equal value. We try to protect our image, our control, our sense of having it together. In that moment my brain told me, if she sees that laundry, you lose credibility.

[00:04:58] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: But the truth is, she did not even notice. She was just smiling, excited to be there and ready to talk about the show. There was no need to point it out or apologize. The loss was entirely in my head. Once I let go of the need to look perfectly composed, everything shifted, and we started talking about the recording and how surreal it felt to be filming that day.

[00:05:44] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: That is when another concept came to mind, authenticity bias. People are drawn to those who are real. When we see imperfection, we feel at ease. It is the reason we root for the underdog and relax around people who do not pretend everything is perfect. So instead of losing credibility, I actually gained trust, because she saw the behind the scenes and saw that I am human. We connected much more in that moment.

[00:06:53] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Two forces were at play. Loss aversion says protect your image and stay polished. Authenticity bias says show up as you are and people will connect with that. When you lose your polished image, you gain trust. When you lose perfection, you win connection. That is the heart of Office Hours, not staged or rehearsed, but curious, honest, and human. It ties perfectly to my TEDx talk about how small steps create big change.

[00:09:35] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Perfection is the enemy of connection. We were taught that perfection equals credibility, but authenticity creates safety, safety creates trust, and trust creates relationships. So your Petite Practice this week is one small experiment: let someone see your real side. Start the video before everything is perfect. Post something mid-process instead of finished. Those are not losses, they are quiet wins for authenticity and connection. You do not have to apologize for being human.