Podcast | Habits
Episode 53| January 4, 2025

How to Calm Data Chaos w/ Samantha Bradshaw

The Part-Time Job Grief Handed Her

Samantha Bradshaw runs on spreadsheets. She can cook Thanksgiving for sixty and bake three hundred cookies in a day, single-handedly, because everything lives in a tab.

Then her mother passed away, and she became executor of the estate.

It turned into a part-time job she never asked for. Forty hours some weeks. Every task quietly loaded with grief.

You cannot spreadsheet your way through loss. But you can let people in.

In this episode of the Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast, trademark lawyer Samantha Bradshaw shares what settling her mother’s estate taught her about grief, community, and the kind of help that actually helps.

Her lesson is simple. Stop asking how can I help. Start saying here is how I can help.

If you have ever frozen up around someone in grief, this conversation will change what you say next.

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“Do not ask how can I help. Say here is how I can help.”

– Samantha Bradshaw

Fast Skim & Timestamps

0:00 Meet Samantha: The Spreadsheet Superpower
3:17 The Part-Time Job Grief Handed Her
5:20 Every Task Was Secretly Emotional
11:06 Get a Password Manager (Seriously)
11:22 What Actually Helped Her Through
13:55 Self-Care Without the Price Tag
14:24 What to Say to Someone Grieving
17:00 Here Is How I Can Help

Key Takeaways

Your organizing superpower is real, and it still cannot carry you through grief alone.
Settling an estate is a hidden part-time job. Emotional weight hides inside every practical task.
A password manager is a gift to the people who will one day settle your affairs.
Self-care does not require money. A short walk, a nap, or fifty-cent oysters count.
Skip I am sorry and I cannot imagine. Offer a specific, doable act instead.
Do not ask how can I help. Say here is how I can help, and remove the decision.

Three Petite Practice® Questions

1. Where am I trying to spreadsheet my way through something that needs feeling?

2. Whose grief could I support this week with one specific, doable offer?

3. What small act of self-care could I give myself that costs nothing?

Transcript Chapters

0:00 Meet Samantha: The Spreadsheet Superpower

[00:00:00] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Welcome back to the Happy Healthy Hustle. We have a wonderful guest today, Samantha Bradshaw. [00:00:14] Samantha Bradshaw: Hi there. I am Samantha Bradshaw, the digital nomad trademark lawyer, mother of kittens, foster mom, all the things. I am excited to chat today. [00:00:28] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: What do you think is your superpower? [00:00:40] Samantha Bradshaw: Right now, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my superpower is that I make spreadsheets. That is how I single-handedly do Thanksgiving for sixty people and bake three hundred cookies in twenty-four hours for gifts. My spreadsheet has the recipe, how many it serves, how many people are coming, an auto-calculated shopping list, a column for what I already have, and an auto-generated task list. On the day of, I just follow the spreadsheet. [00:02:47] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: I love a good spreadsheet too. This is a Christmas nugget coming my way.

3:17 The Part-Time Job Grief Handed Her

[00:03:17] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Let us talk about challenges. What was the most challenging time in your life, and how did you overcome it? [00:03:39] Samantha Bradshaw: Life has seasons, and it is always better to speak from scars than fresh wounds. When my mother passed away a couple of years ago, I was executor of her estate. That means closing all the accounts, finding the credit cards, making the payments, filing the accounting with the city, and distributing everything according to her will. As the only lawyer in my family, I was the obvious choice. But I never imagined the admin work, or the personal negotiations with every family member to make sure everyone felt seen while respecting her wishes. It was a part-time job I did not ask for.

5:20 Every Task Was Secretly Emotional

[00:05:20] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Sometimes a task looks like simple steps on a spreadsheet, but when you open it up, it is deeply emotional. I appreciate you naming how draining that was, because you were also healing from the loss of your mother. [00:06:36] Samantha Bradshaw: Some weeks it took forty hours, most weeks at least fifteen. You decide about the house, find the bank accounts, transfer the utilities. It sounds simple until you realize you are an investigator into someone else’s life, and you run into things you did not want to know. Every decision becomes more loaded than it seems. [00:09:30] Samantha Bradshaw: I tried to think about what family members might find sentimental, and to be sustainable. Donating dishes to the thrift store that funds a cat shelter meant loading the car, driving there, and getting a receipt for the accounting. Twenty minutes for one item, and that has to happen for everything.

11:06 Get a Password Manager (Seriously)

[00:11:06] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: For everyone listening, use some free time this season to get your files in order and make sure there is a will. [00:11:06] Samantha Bradshaw: Please get a password manager. That was my saving grace. I knew every account because there was a password manager, so I did not have to call every company just to find things.

11:22 What Actually Helped Her Through

[00:11:22] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Who or what helped you overcome that time? [00:11:29] Samantha Bradshaw: It would be naive to say it was anything I did. It was the people around me. My aunt, one of my best friends, constantly checked on me. Sometimes she would just say, come over, I made dinner, there is a bottle of wine, we can talk it out. My dad, my husband, and my therapist too. I highly recommend therapy, so you do not offload everything onto the people around you. And I made space for self-care, even though I faltered at times.

13:55 Self-Care Without the Price Tag

[00:13:03] Samantha Bradshaw: Self-care does not have to be massages or trips to Europe. It can be going to oyster happy hour by myself because I want oysters and I do not want to discuss anything. It can be a twenty-minute power nap on a fluffy rug in the middle of the day. Where I live, oysters are fifty cents. Highly recommend. [00:13:55] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: I love that you take self-care from something woo-woo and expensive to a happy hour special or a free video on YouTube. People say they do not have the time or money, but you can go for a five-minute walk.

14:24 What to Say to Someone Grieving

[00:14:24] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: When someone in a person’s life has passed away, I have two rules. I try not to say I am sorry, because it can sound empty, and I try not to say I cannot imagine how you feel. Instead I say, how about Tuesday we go out for dinner, and we do not have to talk about it. [00:15:44] Samantha Bradshaw: We have been trained to say I am sorry, my condolences. But so much of this was, what do I need right now to get to the next hour. Sometimes it is, I need someone to not ask me questions, and I need to get what I want without spending a lot. You do not have to respond the way people expect. What matters is getting through it in a healthy-ish way.

17:00 Here Is How I Can Help

[00:17:00] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: The best help is specific. Instead of asking what do you need, say I am going to bring you dinner, would tomorrow or next week be better. Two simple decisions. [00:18:17] Samantha Bradshaw: Exactly. Do not ask how can I help, because you are still asking them to decide. Say, here is how I can help. I make great freezer meals, I will bring one next Wednesday, would you like lasagna or soup. Remove the burden of choosing. [00:19:09] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: When my dad passed, a neighbor texted that she left cookies by the garage door, so I did not have to answer the door. Non-invasive, and still community. [00:20:14] Samantha Bradshaw: You can be an introvert and still give and receive community. [00:20:35] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Where can we find you, Samantha? [00:20:35] Samantha Bradshaw: We are most active on Instagram at Inline Legal, and at inlinelegal.com. The spreadsheet comes preloaded with my grandmother’s chocolate chip recipe.

Meet My Guest

Samantha Bradshaw

Trademark Lawyer & Founder of Inline Legal

Samantha Bradshaw is a digital nomad trademark lawyer and the founder of Inline Legal, where she helps entrepreneurs get their legal in line. She is also a foster mom and self-described maker of very intense spreadsheets.

Connect with her on Instagram @inlinelegal. Her holiday planning spreadsheet comes preloaded with her grandmother’s chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Meet Your Host

Dr. Christiane Schroeter

TEDx Speaker & Leadership Strategist

I’m Dr. Christiane Schroeter, TEDx speaker, leadership strategist, and host of the Top 1% ranked Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast. I help leaders think clearly, speak with conviction, and take the next step during change.

About Dr. Christiane

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