Two TEDx Speakers, One Backstage Moment w/ J Ross Parrelli

Dr. Christiane: Welcome back to the Happy Healthy Hustle podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Christiane, and it’s my special pleasure to record live today. This is a couple of days before I’m going to be presenting on the TEDx stage in Folsom, California. And what better situation to have one of the amazing speakers from the stage be right here with us sharing her insights on this podcast episode. So with that, let’s get started. Why don’t you introduce yourself. J Ross Parrelli: Hello everybody. I’m J Ross Parrelli, artist from around the world as well as founder and owner of Beats Lyrics Leaders, where we teach students to make beats, record lyrics and maybe find something new about themselves. I also sit on the Economic Development Commission and the Arts Council and really try to figure out how the creative economy juxtaposes to everything in society. Dr. Christiane: The amazing thing about J Ross is I just kind of planned this. I was like, let’s just record this right now, right here. Woman of the moment. And she was like, yeah, let’s just do it. So we found a little corner right here. And if you have been listening to my podcast, you know that one of the first questions always puts the guest right there on the spot. J Ross, what is your superpower? What makes you special and different from anybody else out there?

Dr. Christiane: Because obviously there’s a reason that you were chosen to be one of the TED speakers. What do you think is your special gift that you’re sharing with the world? J Ross Parrelli: I believe it’s love. We really touch base on frequencies and the effect that frequencies have on our body. In the end, I could walk out of a room and someone says, wow, I feel really loved, or I have hope. That’s what I would like to bring. Dr. Christiane: Oh, I love that. So it’s something that you, as an audience, you will feel right now coming through the soundbites. You’re getting that virtual hug right now. So maybe let’s talk about some darker times. What was maybe the most challenging time in your life and why?

J Ross Parrelli: Wow. I mean, struggle is what makes us human. So many things come to mind. I’m in the hip hop industry where I started off as a rap battler. I was out in the middle of Compton where I won my first rap battle that led me out to Brooklyn, New York, the Bronx, Queens, Harlem, where I would go into more rap battles. The one thing I noticed is, I have a very androgynous name, J Ross Parrelli. So as I would enter the stage, no one expects a woman. There would be times I would walk onto the stage and people would be like, oh, you’re cute, groupie, move it along. And then to put on top of it, I obviously have lighter skin. So my struggle, my trauma is not the same as a lot of who’ve been through hip hop. In the end, it was really figuring out my message behind being a woman, and how do I compose that respect, that responsibility of showcasing what it is to be a goddess and a woman so other girls can see this. So you have respect to begin with, and then responsibility. And then on top of it, at the height of my career, I became a mom. I didn’t even wanna tell people I was pregnant because I didn’t wanna lose any of the gigs. Dr. Christiane: Wow. This is incredible.

J Ross Parrelli: So I really had to figure out what does it mean to be a woman in the entertainment industry, let alone hip hop. And where’s my place in this community and how do I be who I am while being a mother, a single mom at that, which I love more than anything. It was really challenging figuring out where do I stand and what’s okay for me and my body, and that looks different for somebody else. So then, no judgment on what everybody else is doing. It was just figuring out what it is to be a woman and how to carry yourself. Dr. Christiane: There were a couple of things you said that make me feel like we are soulmates in some regards. I started my job on the tenure track at Cal Poly as a professor while I was pregnant. I reached out to them and let them know that I’m going to be arriving four or five months pregnant with my first daughter. And it really led to a beautiful example of, you can go for your dreams, you can work your job, and there’s never a time when you’re like, oh, I should have a child now, and then it just happens. You could just be blessed when it happens and the time will be perfect no matter when that is. So for all of you out there struggling so many different roles, I see you and I feel you. J Ross Parrelli: It’s love. You just need to feel the love and embrace whenever that happens, because there is no such thing as the perfect time. Dr. Christiane: The best time is now, right? And then secondly, when you were talking about the beats and the hip hop artists, can you demo anything for us right now?

J Ross Parrelli: This is what I do for the kids. We teach a lot in the classroom, so here we go. Everybody always says, what’s the J stand for? So I tell ’em. J is for the jugular, Gemina, jugular jaguar, a jump in, a jack in a jug and jug pose, just suppose, J Rose like a Ross, legendary, jazzy J, Jada, Jude like Jermaine and Juice, Ja and a Jiffy, dog, Dale, Jam, Jas, too many Js, a dog and Joy, Ory Ja, a Jason Jabberwocky and Jo Jess on a jingle doing it, the Jimmy Jelly with Jiggy, getting Jiggy. It’s so fun. Dr. Christiane: Oh my gosh, you have an amazing ability to do this. Wow. J Ross Parrelli: Now your turn. Dr. Christiane: Ooh, we’ll get back to you on that one. I’m going to practice a little bit on that. And that reminded me, my husband has this eighties song, getting jiggy. J Ross Parrelli: Getting Jiggy With It.

Dr. Christiane: This is amazing. That was that one thing I thought my husband would like. So, struggling hip hop artist, you started your career right there? J Ross Parrelli: That was about 2005. I mean, that was a while ago. I toured for a long time around the world. And then I came back to my hometown and ran for school board and started getting involved with politics. Dr. Christiane: Love all that. So audience, you heard there was this beautiful career span, and to me what’s always the most inspiring is there is a dark time that got you out of struggles, or who let you out of that. If you think back, who helped you to get through some of these challenges?

J Ross Parrelli: It was really looking up to other women who had done this before. I’m not the first to do this. I wasn’t the first to give birth. I’m not the first to do a TED Talk. There have been strong, amazing females that have really led this path. So first and foremost, looking to my mom and my grandma, like, how did you survive what you went through and still made it out okay? And then even in hip hop, people like Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Rapsody, Bahamadia, Lauryn Hill, all these incredible female artists. They’re known as artists, not just, she’s a good rapper for a girl. So I knew I had a chance. Knowing that there’s been strong women that do this before us and they’re gonna do it after us, that’s kind of my thing. Dr. Christiane: Beautiful. Sometimes thinking about people that made it, it seems like, oh my gosh, they’re up there. But if you really dig down in their stories, they weren’t always famous. They might have come from backgrounds that were very challenging, but they kept going. So it’s not always going to be easy, no matter whether you’re an artist, a professor, or a single mom. The challenge is to keep telling yourself to keep moving forward. And I call it petite practice. Just keep getting up and getting over those failures and struggles. J Ross Parrelli: Lots of falling, lots of

J Ross Parrelli: getting back up. Dr. Christiane: And even being here at TED now, I talked to some of the other speakers and they told me, oh my gosh, this was like my 290th application. And even that is an inspiration in itself. I always say winning is not easy. People frequently just look at the final result, but it’s really the road that leads there. That’s actually the real win, because you always got up and kept going. With that, audience, how can we get in touch with you, J Ross? J Ross Parrelli: On my Instagram, that’s my generation. So J Ross Parrelli, P A double R E double L I. You can find me anywhere, any social media. Dr. Christiane: Awesome. And with that, I think we got everybody nice and curious about those amazing TED talks. In the show notes we’re going to share the contact information, and then stay tuned for the videos, because you have to go to YouTube and check them out. There are some true, amazing messages in there. It’s really something that will help you deep down and maybe even figure out a little bit more about what your superpower is, or maybe you listen to it on one of those days where it just seems like a little bit too much. That’s really what the power of that is. Thank you so much for tuning in today to the Happy Healthy Hustle. I’m your host, Dr. Christiane, and I can’t wait to see you on the next episode. Thank you.