Podcast | Mindset
Episode 12| July 5, 2023

How to Find Self-Love w/ Heather Graham Murphy

She Spent Twenty Years Behind a Mask. Becoming a Mom Made Her Take It Off.

Heather Murphy spent twenty years living with anxiety and depression, and most of it behind a mask.

She grew up in a time when none of it was talked about, so she people-pleased and made herself small, sure her emotions took up too much space.

Then she had her daughter, and she was done.

She wanted to know who she actually was.

In this episode of the Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast, embodiment coach and breathwork facilitator Heather Murphy shares how she came back to herself after decades of struggle, why she teaches safety in the body first, and how learning to feel changed everything.

She does not fight the hard feelings anymore. She built a bigger container to hold them.

This is a tender, honest conversation about coming home to yourself.

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“The reason it comes up is because you are ready to feel it.”

– Heather Murphy

Fast Skim & Timestamps

0:00 Meet Heather: Embodiment and Breathwork
1:19 Taking Off the Masks
3:44 Her Superpower: Emotional and Energetic Mastery
6:18 The Inner Work That Changed Everything
9:33 A Bigger Container for Anxiety
11:09 Man on Wire and the Step Onto the Wire
13:34 Normalizing the Struggle
16:25 Breathwork and Where to Find Her

Key Takeaways

We put on masks to make ourselves easy for others. Taking them off is the work.
People-pleasing often hides a belief that your emotions take up too much space.
Healing is not punishment. Heather learned to hold space for herself, not fight herself.
Safety in the body comes first. You can learn that it is okay to feel.
Feelings surface when you are ready to process them.
The right story or mentor can reignite your will to live fully.

Three Petite Practice® Questions

1. Where am I wearing a mask to make myself easier for other people?

2. What feeling have I been avoiding that might be ready to be felt?

3. What could it look like to hold space for myself instead of judging myself?

Transcript Chapters

0:00 Meet Heather: Embodiment and Breathwork

[00:00:43] Heather Murphy: I am a certified embodiment coach and trauma-informed breathwork facilitator. I help women overcome anxiety and depression so they can step into emotional and energetic mastery, create a life they truly love, and become authentically expressed.

1:19 Taking Off the Masks

[00:01:19] Heather Murphy: I struggled with anxiety and depression for twenty years. We all have little traumas and big ones, these onion layers of being human, and we put masks on. I grew up in a time when anxiety and depression were not talked about. When I had my daughter, I was done. I wanted to find out who I am. Sometimes with anxiety there is a people-pleasing, because you feel your emotions take up so much space that you just want to be easy-going. The more I dove into what actually lights me up, the happier I felt and the more my relationships improved.

3:44 Her Superpower: Emotional and Energetic Mastery

[00:03:44] Heather Murphy: My superpower is emotional and energetic mastery. I used to let life’s circumstances take hold of how I reacted. Over time, practicing connection to the body, I developed what psychology calls a big window of tolerance. I am an empath, so I can hold a lot of my own emotions and other people’s. The energetic part is about remembering we are vibrational beings, and being in my body lets me transmute the emotional discomfort we go through as humans.

6:18 The Inner Work That Changed Everything

[00:06:18] Heather Murphy: It came to a head when I started dating my husband. I knew I wanted to marry him and have a family, and I could see how much my mental health was affecting our relationship. So I did the inner work, which was hard, because I had to look at parts of myself I honestly hated. I used to hate myself and even hurt myself, and I have not done that in about ten years. When I look back, I see her like a little child in so much pain, and now I can hold space for that part of me.

9:33 A Bigger Container for Anxiety

[00:09:33] Heather Murphy: I would not say I detached from my anxiety, more that I created a bigger container to hold space for it. The first thing I teach people is safety in the body, that it is safe for you to feel, you do not have to do anything. You learn to sit with it and look at it, because the reason it comes up is that you are ready to feel it. It would not be there if you were not ready, and it is ready to be processed and healed.

11:09 Man on Wire and the Step Onto the Wire

[00:11:09] Heather Murphy: The first person who pops up is Philippe Petit, the man who walked between the Twin Towers on a wire. I am terrified of heights, and watching that documentary gave me vertigo, but his story did something in my body. Basically, life is walking on the wire, and you just have to take that step out. It invigorated me. I will put that documentary on sometimes to fire me up again, to remember life is worth living, worth enjoying, full of love and beauty and creativity.

13:34 Normalizing the Struggle

[00:13:34] Heather Murphy: Jen Sincero, who wrote You Are a Badass, was another big one. She was so relatable, a former hot mess like me in my twenties. I read and listened to her book over and over. She did not necessarily struggle with anxiety, but she overcame a certain mindset, and mindset was where I started my journey. Later I moved into the embodiment work, realizing mindset is not everything. When you struggle for years, you get into a negative habit of thoughts about yourself, so mindset is a great place to start, and then you can move into the body.

16:25 Breathwork and Where to Find Her

[00:16:25] Heather Murphy: I hang out on Instagram a lot, at fortheloveofself, with the dot in there. I have some offerings coming out, and I do free breathwork classes once a month. You can get on the list, and once a month I send a notice out. Breathwork has been huge for regulating my nervous system and reducing anxiety in my life. [00:17:10] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Thank you so much for being here, Heather.

Meet My Guest

Heather Murphy

Embodiment Coach & Trauma-Informed Breathwork Facilitator

Heather Murphy is a certified embodiment coach and trauma-informed breathwork facilitator who helps women overcome anxiety and depression and come back to themselves. After two decades of her own struggle, she now teaches emotional and energetic mastery, starting with safety in the body.

She offers free monthly breathwork classes and shares her work on Instagram at fortheloveofself.

Meet Your Host

Dr. Christiane Schroeter

TEDx Speaker & Leadership Strategist

I’m Dr. Christiane Schroeter, TEDx speaker, leadership strategist, and host of the Top 1% ranked Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast. I help leaders think clearly, speak with conviction, and take the next step during change.

About Dr. Christiane

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