Why Couldn’t I Sleep?

[00:00:01] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: For years I taught people how to reach their goals in health and wellbeing, while quietly failing at one of my own at night. I judged myself for it. Hard.

[00:00:15] I’m Dr. Christiane, leadership strategist and host of the Happy Healthy Hustle podcast. I tried everything I knew to fix it. Same pattern, same frustration, same quiet disappointment in myself.

[00:00:30] Until one shift changed everything. And it wasn’t more effort. It started with a single question: what if you’re not the problem? Watch this episode to find out what I finally figured out, and how you can too. Subscribe on YouTube so you never miss what’s next.

[00:00:53] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: What if I told you the one thing I talk about the most was the one thing I was quietly failing at? Health. For years I barely slept five hours a night.

[00:01:08] Sometimes less. And I didn’t just notice it, I judged myself for it. Because here I am, a leadership coach, someone who teaches energy, focus and wellbeing.

[00:01:22] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: And I couldn’t even get my own sleep under control. That’s where shame started to creep in. And the thought was…

[00:01:32] not “this isn’t working,” but “what’s wrong with me?” I kept thinking that over and over again. And that’s a very different place to operate from.

[00:01:44] Shame doesn’t move you forward. It keeps you stuck. And that is the thing about shame. I was stuck.

[00:01:54] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: And I tried everything I knew. New Year’s resolutions, weekend resets, morning routines, mindset work. Everything. And every morning I’d tell myself:

[00:02:09] tonight will be different, I’m going to bed earlier. And every night…

[00:02:14] it didn’t happen. Same pattern, same frustration, same quiet disappointment in myself. That feeling of shame. I felt like I was in a loop I just couldn’t get out of. I was stuck.

[00:02:31] And here’s what’s interesting: the more I pushed, the worse it actually felt. Because I wasn’t just trying to fix the behavior. I was trying to fix myself.

[00:02:47] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: At some point, something shifted. And this is really important: it wasn’t even a dramatic shift. It just shifted.

[00:02:54] Almost like a small little move, like a petite practice. I stopped making it about who I was, and I started looking at what I was doing.

[00:03:08] And that’s the difference between shame and guilt. My shame said “I’m the problem.” Guilt says “something I’m doing is not working.” And that small shift really mattered.

[00:03:20] Because one keeps you frozen, and the other one gives you something to work with. Now this is really important: because I got honest with myself, that’s why I was able to get out of it.

[00:03:36] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: What if I’m not failing? What if my current approach is just not enough? And what if I don’t have to solve this alone?

[00:03:47] So I looked for solutions. And it wasn’t easy to admit that I couldn’t do it myself. Because when you’re used to being capable, asking for help, even indirectly, can feel really uncomfortable.

[00:04:01] But I decided to try something completely different.

[00:04:06] I didn’t just make another resolution. I didn’t just put more pressure on myself.

[00:04:14] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: I asked for support. And you can ask others, or you can look at a device. So I brought in something that was outside of me: I got an Oura Ring… a ring that I wear every day.

[00:04:31] And here’s what really surprised me. It didn’t fix me . It didn’t even judge me. It didn’t push me either. None of those things would work. It just gave me feedback. And that was all I needed.

[00:04:47] It was a gentle nudge at night, and it gave me clear data in the morning: how long I slept, how deep I slept, how my recovery actually was.

[00:04:58] And data geek that I am, that’s all I needed. There was no emotion attached to it. It was just information. It was beautiful. And that changed everything.

[00:05:08] My shame, my guilt, transformed. Because now, instead of guessing, I could see. Instead of judging, I could adjust.

[00:05:19] And this is really what moved me out of that emotional loop of shame into something much more practical. So guess what: small first petite practice… earlier bedtime by a little, paying attention to patterns, noticing what actually helped. That’s when the real magic happens. Because over time, it worked.

[00:05:45] No more sleeping for five hours. Not overnight, but steadily my sleep increased. And I became really aware of how my body adjusted to it.

[00:06:00] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: And that’s the part I want you to really take away with you today in this video:

[00:06:07] if you’re in this loop of shame…

[00:06:11] you’re stuck in something right now…

[00:06:15] whether that’s sleep or something completely different, something you keep telling yourself “I should have figured this out by now”… I completely know, I’ve been there. Guess what:

[00:06:28] don’t be so hard on yourself. You just need to pause for a second. And maybe all you should do is ask for help, the way that I did.

[00:06:38] Because when you’re operating from shame, it’s something you can get out of yourself… you just maybe need to work at it from a little bit of a different angle.

[00:06:48] I can’t wait to see you in the next episode, and I can’t wait to hear how you got out of your loop of shame and moved into a better place. Because you might not be the problem after all.