Podcast | Mindset
Episode 14| July 30, 2023

Embrace the Suck w/ Lisa Kowalski

She Tried to Save Her Husband on a Bike Trip in Italy. Then She Went Home and Rebuilt.

Lisa Kowalski moved back to San Luis Obispo to marry the man she had loved across a long-distance relationship.

They were riding bikes in Italy when he had a massive heart attack. She tried to save him. She could not.

Then she flew home alone to a four-year-old and her stepchildren, and had to figure out who she was now.

She decided her story would not be defined by that day.

In this episode of the Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast, coach and fitness instructor Lisa Kowalski shares how she rebuilt after losing her husband, why she refuses the widow mentality, and the small daily changes that carried her forward.

Her mantra is tattooed on her arm: make it happen.

If you are walking through the fire right now, this one is for you.

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“Don’t just wait for life to happen. You make it happen.”

– Lisa Kowalski

Fast Skim & Timestamps

0:00 Meet Lisa: Coach, Athlete, Single Mom
2:12 Her Superpower: The People Around Her
3:20 Embrace the Suck
5:54 The Loss in Italy
8:44 Refusing the Widow Mentality
13:02 The People Who Held Her Up
14:00 The Compound Effect of Small Changes
18:39 Make It Happen: What’s Next

Key Takeaways

Your circle is a superpower. Surround yourself with people who level up, and you rise too.
Embrace being a beginner. The first time will not be pretty, and that is the point.
Perfectionism freezes you. Doing it badly and learning beats waiting for perfect.
Grief does not disappear. You build a life around it, layer by layer.
You get to decide whether a tragedy defines you or you define yourself.
Small changes compound. A little more water, movement, or sleep adds up to big shifts.

Three Petite Practice® Questions

1. Who in my circle helps me level up, and am I spending enough time with them?

2. Where is perfectionism keeping me from even starting?

3. What one small change could I make today that would compound over time?

Transcript Chapters

0:00 Meet Lisa: Coach, Athlete, Single Mom

[00:00:30] Lisa Kowalski: Thank you for having me. I am a personal trainer and head coach at an Orange Theory here in San Luis Obispo. I was an athlete my whole life and got into personal training after a season-ending soccer injury playing semi-pro. Going through physical therapy, I realized a lot of people do not know what to do after they get out, so I found my niche. I also coached university women’s soccer for years. Now I am back in San Luis Obispo, a single mom, and a widow. Lots has happened.

2:12 Her Superpower: The People Around Her

[00:02:12] Lisa Kowalski: The people around me are my superpower. I surround myself with amazing people who love to level up, and my superpower becomes empowering others to do the same. Don’t just wait for life to happen, you make it happen. I recently got a tattoo on my arm that says make it happen, and it reminds me, when I am not sure I can, that it is totally possible.

3:20 Embrace the Suck

[00:03:20] Lisa Kowalski: We threw around the idea of embrace the suck. It is something I say to myself and my teams. You have to embrace being a beginner. When you do something for the first time, it is not going to be pretty, and that is okay. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it be your motivation to become better. Being a perfectionist will either freeze you in place or keep you from ever achieving what you want, because you expect it to be perfect. Being new at something is okay.

5:54 The Loss in Italy

[00:05:54] Lisa Kowalski: When I moved back to San Luis Obispo, I moved back to get married, a longtime love. He needed a kidney transplant, and I knew that going in. But he ended up having a massive heart attack when we were in Italy riding our bicycles. I attempted to save him, but could not. I had to come home to my four-year-old and my stepchildren and tell them I was coming home alone. We had to sort through what life would look like now without him.

8:44 Refusing the Widow Mentality

[00:08:44] Lisa Kowalski: At first I leaned on exercise to numb the pain, and I had to find my balance again. I reminded myself that I was a strong, independent woman before I became someone’s wife. I had watched my grandmother try to save her husband from a heart attack, and my mother try to save my father from one, three generations living the same thing. Watching my mom let a widow mentality define her made me realize that would never be me, because I do not want that for my kids. That became my motivation to stand up and change lives.

13:02 The People Who Held Her Up

[00:13:02] Lisa Kowalski: My sister stood there for me, and so did close friends and my son, we grieved together and helped each other through the messy stuff. I dug deep into personal development, listening to podcasts of people who had been through hard times so I would know I was not alone. I surrounded myself with strong women and made a conscious effort every day to be a better person for my kids, and not let it define me.

14:00 The Compound Effect of Small Changes

[00:14:00] Lisa Kowalski: There are so many great books. You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. The Compound Effect made me realize I did not have to change everything at once. Little changes, move my body a little more, drink a little more water, get a little more sleep, add up to big changes. I could take bite-sized pieces and go from there. I also have a playlist that fires me up when I am upset.

18:39 Make It Happen: What’s Next

[00:18:39] Lisa Kowalski: Being head coach at Orange Theory is a gift. I am also a Lululemon ambassador, and I was selected to be a guest Lululemon Studio Mirror instructor. I am leaving for New York for a photo shoot and filming, and my workouts will be on the platform nationwide for two years. It reminds me, make it happen, embrace the suck. I have never done anything like this, and part of me wonders what I got myself into, but I am excited. [00:20:03] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: I am so thrilled to see you nationwide. Thank you so much for being here, Lisa.

Meet My Guest

Lisa Kowalski

Head Coach at Orange Theory & Lululemon Studio Mirror Instructor

Lisa Kowalski is a personal trainer and head coach at Orange Theory in San Luis Obispo, a lifelong athlete, and a former university soccer coach. After losing her husband, she rebuilt her life and made it her mission to help others find strength through movement and mindset.

She is a Lululemon ambassador and a guest Lululemon Studio Mirror instructor, sharing workouts with people nationwide.

Meet Your Host

Dr. Christiane Schroeter

TEDx Speaker & Leadership Strategist

I’m Dr. Christiane Schroeter, TEDx speaker, leadership strategist, and host of the Top 1% ranked Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast. I help leaders think clearly, speak with conviction, and take the next step during change.

About Dr. Christiane

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