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Episode 26| January 6, 2024

Empathy as Superpower w/ Michele Thomson

She Was Always “the Crier.” It Turned Out to Be Her Greatest Leadership Skill.

Michele Thomson was the kid who cried at everything.

The only child in a single-parent home in the 1970s, the one who made a Father’s Day card for a dad who was not there, just so she would have something to hold.

For years she thought feeling everything so deeply was a flaw.

It became the foundation of how she leads.

In this episode of the Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast, registered nurse and leadership coach Michele Thomson shares how empathy went from a liability to her superpower, why psychologically safe workplaces are built on trust, and what a false accusation early in her career taught her about leading as herself.

Leadership, she learned, is an inside job.

People who feel safe show up differently. She builds the rooms where that happens.

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“People who don’t feel safe don’t behave well.”

– Michele Thomson

Fast Skim & Timestamps

0:00 Meet Michele: A Nurse Who Leads on Empathy
1:52 The Superpower She First Saw as a Weakness
4:04 An Only Child in a Single-Parent Home
5:34 From Pediatrics to Palliative Care
7:09 The Stigma of a Life Without Kids
10:52 Finding Her Why in Business
11:56 The False Accusation That Made Her a Leader
17:07 The Women, and the Dog, Who Shaped Her

Key Takeaways

The trait you think is your weakness can become your greatest strength once you learn to use it.
Empathy without boundaries is exhausting. With self-compassion, it becomes a leadership tool.
People who do not feel safe do not behave well. Trust is the foundation of workplace culture.
Leadership is not a list of attributes to acquire. It is understanding how humans are wired to connect.
Failure can be the exact route to the skills you were missing.
Gratitude reframes the story. Poor can be a mindset, and so can rich.

Three Petite Practice® Questions

1. Which trait have I been treating as a weakness that might actually be a strength?

2. Where in my life do I need boundaries so my empathy does not drain me?

3. Who made me feel safe, and how can I create that same space for someone else?

Transcript Chapters

0:00 Meet Michele: A Nurse Who Leads on Empathy

[00:00:00] Michele Thomson: I remember in grade one or two, we were making Father’s Day cards, and my dad was not in my life at that point. I made one anyway, just because I was embarrassed and felt shameful that I did not have a dad to give it to. There were not a lot of kids I knew living with one parent. I think within a superpower, there are parts of us that think it is the thing we are not great at. [00:00:49] Michele Thomson: My name is Michele Thomson. I live in Vancouver, British Columbia. I am a registered nurse, and I am also a leadership development coach and consultant. I focus on workplace culture, specifically creating psychologically safe workplaces that people never want to leave.

1:52 The Superpower She First Saw as a Weakness

[00:01:52] Michele Thomson: One of the things I have always been is a really empathetic person. I feel everything of other people, and that is not always healthy. It can be very tiresome and heavy. But over the last four or five years, I have learned to show up with empathy and compassion without needing anything in it for me. With my background in facilitation and nursing, people tell me I can very quickly create space where they feel safe. That is the foundation of the work I do now, and it makes me realize I am right where I need to be.

4:04 An Only Child in a Single-Parent Home

[00:04:04] Michele Thomson: The empathy was always there. I was known as the kid who was the crier, and I never knew why I was so emotional. I grew up as an only child in a single-parent family in the seventies, and that was difficult to grow up at that time. All of my friends had two parents. I had to navigate those feelings, and my mom did a great job trying to nurture me through it.

5:34 From Pediatrics to Palliative Care

[00:05:34] Michele Thomson: At first I wanted to be a pediatric nurse, but I could not manage my emotions caring for sick children, especially as I imagined becoming a mother myself. So I went into seniors care and became a palliative nurse. People ask how I could be with people who are dying every day. It is how you frame the context. I would have an ugly cry at the end of a day when I lost a patient, but it is an incredible honor to be with another human being when they take their last breath on this earth.

7:09 The Stigma of a Life Without Kids

[00:07:09] Michele Thomson: I have two stepchildren, but I have not birthed children, and there is still a stigma women walk through. If you do not have children, there is this furrow of the brow, like what is wrong with you. That was hard to navigate as an empath. But through self-love, self-compassion, journaling, meditation, and regular exercise, it became my superpower. I can see that most people are asking from curiosity, because it is a lived experience different than their own. My job as an empath is to help navigate that for them.

10:52 Finding Her Why in Business

[00:10:52] Michele Thomson: I was happy being a nurse. I identified as a nurse. Then a group of physicians asked me to create and deliver curriculum. My husband, who is an entrepreneur, said, you need to start a business. I said, I am not starting a business for one client. He said, yes you are. I am grateful he pushed me. But I quickly realized facilitating was not what I wanted to do full time, so I had to figure out my why.

11:56 The False Accusation That Made Her a Leader

[00:11:56] Michele Thomson: In my early thirties I got my first senior leadership role running a long-term care home, and I moved across the country for it. Within a few months the staff attitudes were shifting and I could not figure out why. Then one day licensing inspectors arrived. Someone had complained that I asked them to cover up the death of a resident, which was not true. I felt the blood drain from my body. After two days of rigorous inspection, there was no evidence, because it never happened. The person who made the allegation said, we like her, but we thought if we could get her fired, things would go back to the way they were. [00:14:00] Michele Thomson: I later learned I was the sixth general manager in seven years. I was hired for the clinical work, but I had no idea how to lead people. I had two choices, quit or dig my heels in. I let my ego get out of the way and let the empathy come out. People who do not feel safe do not behave well. Leadership is not as complicated as people make it. It is an inside job.

17:07 The Women, and the Dog, Who Shaped Her

[00:17:07] Michele Thomson: The first influence that comes to mind is my mom. People tell me I am just like her, and now that is the greatest compliment. She raised a child on her own, worked full time, and we grew up incredibly poor and I never knew it. She had immaculate pride of home. Poor is really a mindset. When you feel like you are rich, you are rich. [00:19:21] Michele Thomson: I come from a long line of strong women, my grandmother who walked through life with grace and fun, and her mother who had fourteen children. A nonhuman influence would be my dog, a Taiwanese street dog we rescued in 2015. He was fearful and anxious, and he has taught me so much about trust and unconditional love, about being his person and never putting him in a situation he cannot handle. [00:22:35] Michele Thomson: The best place to reach me is my website, Curis Consulting, and my podcast is called Lead From Within. [00:23:05] Dr. Christiane Schroeter: Thank you so much for being here, Michele.

Meet My Guest

Michele Thomson

Registered Nurse, Leadership Coach & Consultant, Founder of Curis Consulting

Michele Thomson is a registered nurse turned leadership development coach and consultant based in Vancouver, British Columbia. Through Curis Consulting, she helps organizations build psychologically safe workplaces that people never want to leave.

She hosts the podcast Lead From Within and draws on decades in nursing and palliative care to teach that leadership is an inside job built on trust and human connection. Learn more at curisconsulting.ca.

Meet Your Host

Dr. Christiane Schroeter

TEDx Speaker & Leadership Strategist

I’m Dr. Christiane Schroeter, TEDx speaker, leadership strategist, and host of the Top 1% ranked Happy Healthy Hustle Podcast. I help leaders think clearly, speak with conviction, and take the next step during change.

About Dr. Christiane

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